I love my wife

Reposted from 2/22/2009

That title might not seem like a particularly-dramatic statement, but I think it’s worth mentioning. I say this especially because of the sorts of things I’ve heard lately. Some of them, I suppose, not so much lately as just having heard them in general.

Men make fun of their wives, complain about them, and say all kinds of things. I don’t care to make a lot of specific examples, because I’m not trying to call anyone out right now. Just to give you a sense of what’s got me going, though …

– This past week, I heard a radio host talking about how annoying his wife is when she’s hinting about a gift that she wants.

– A married man that I know answered the question, “What should you do if you’re thinking about marriage?” with “Run away fast.”

And then, of course, there are such jokes as:

– My wife and I lived happily for 20 years. Then we met and got married.

– I haven’t spoken to my wife in 5 years. I don’t want to interrupt her while she’s talking.

Ha, ha … Oh, so funny. (Make sure to reread that in a deadpan if you didn’t get that as it was intended.)

Sadly, Christian men do this all the time. How am I supposed to view my wife?

I’m supposed to love her. Paul told the Ephesians, in fact, that I’m supposed to love her “just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25). He went on to say that I should love her as I love my own body (Ephesians 5:28).

Do I sit around with “the guys” complaining about what a loser I am? About what a jerk I am?

Of course not. Therefore, if I’m loving my wife the way Paul told me to, I should not be doing that to my wife, either.

Christ loved the Church, and showed His love by going out into difficult and often-unpleasant situations for us. He sought out sinners to be helped and then suffered a brutal death. That, by the way, is not the same as sitting on the couch watching TV and telling one’s wife to bring another beer.

So, I’ve decided to take this opportunity to say a few things about how wonderful my wife is.

For one thing, she is rarely less than the smartest person in the room. She has an MS in Mathematics. She enjoys topology. She teaches algebra, trigonometry, and calculus at an emotional-growth boarding school. That means that nearly all of her students are the problem students from other schools. She’s also the math department head, she was the acting faculty head over the summer, and she’s also an academic advisor.

My wife earns the money that supports our family. My wife is a wonderful, caring, and loving person. My wife also enjoys some of the same types of books and shows that I do. That includes science fiction and fantasy. (She knows the Lord of the Rings series better than I ever will. The night we spent during a power outage playing the LOTR edition of Trivial Pursuit by oil lamp is … well, … a humbling story. But a good one.)

I don’t feel the need to join in with people who complain about their “ball and chain.” As Paul Overstreet sang, “Love don’t feel like a ball and chain to me/When I’m close to [her] my heart is wild and free.”

By the way, I was pleased to see the e-mail sig from a fellow blogger, who ends every e-mail with the note “My wife is my best friend.” That’s a guy who gets it. Part of me saw that and thought, “Wow, I should have done that.”

As our relationship was starting, a friend of mine asked me, “Has it occured to you that God put you two together deliberately? By the way, if He did, that means He loves you very much.” I can’t argue with that.

So, Zeta, if you’re reading this … I love you.

To anyone else … You know what? I love my wife. Very much.


8 Responses to I love my wife

  1. John Shore says:

    Nice post! That’s really sweet, and very refreshing. (Oh, and tell your wife it’s better for awhile if she only calls my cell phone. Thanks.)

  2. wken says:

    Oh, great!

    Now I have to duel you. Sigh …

  3. dlkelley says:

    I think it might be something about marriage in general…at my workplace, I hear a lot of women constantly bashing their husbands, and it kills me. If I’m supposed to respect my husband, one of the worst things I can do is to publicly humiliate, whether he’s present or not. Kudos to you and your attitude!

    (Also, randomly, hi – this is Dani from John Shore’s blog who shares your political-Christian ideas =)

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    that was so sweet, ken. i think you are both very lucky people.

  5. Bill says:

    Well said!

    I believe that people bashing their spouse has two effects. The first, and most obvious, is that it breaks the Biblical commands to love and respect each other (plus it kinda messes up the Biblical metaphor of marriage regarding our relationship to Christ).

    The second effect is less obvious: If you are constantly badmouthing someone, even just in fun initially, you end up taking on those attitudes about them. If you, on the other hand, treat them as supremely valuable (next to Christ) in your life, even if you don’t always emotionally feel that way, their value grows for you.

    My wife of twenty one years is my very best friend. Love grows. And I’ve realized more and more every year how blessed I am.

  6. Rodney Olsen says:

    Great post. Unfortunately it’s so rare to hear guys saying such wonderful things about their wives.

    I make a point of never saying anything negative about my beautiful bride in front of others. Mind you, that’s fairly easy … she’s perfect.

  7. Dollhouses says:

    This was such a neat post to come across. WHile I often hear women say the love their husbands the reverse doesn’t happen that often!

  8. What a wonderful post. I think what is lost in many marriages is the fact not many people take time to enjoy and appreciate each other any more.

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